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Your Friends with Who?

I'm likely going to tell you to dump a friend, or two... or five.
Take a close look at the neighbourhood you have created.

Yes. I'm going there. I want to know, who do you hang out with? If you're sitting beside a good friend, gaze into their eyes and smile. Now, if you're confused as to why a business strategist is asking you 'who are you're friends', well it's quite simple:

And here's why. Let's use an analogy of a house. They say the value of the smallest house on a street is raised when surrounded by larger homes, and the value of the largest home depreciates if surrounded by smaller houses. Many would say the same theory applies to people.

In fact, it is argued that you are the sum of five people you spend the most time with. So, let me ask again, 'who currently warrants most of your time?' What I really want to know is, do your friends contribute to your business and personal success, or do they absorb it?

Since founding BusiWomen I have connected with thousands of entrepreneurs. I have learned to be strategic with those whom I give my time because there is an endless supply of:

Victims: They 'think' life duped them. A victim feels better after they speak to you because they just dumped their load onto your shoulders. A business victim complains they haven't reached their goals but they did a half-assed job trying, if they did any real work at all.

Leeches: They ask how you are but really couldn't care less – it's all about them. A leech needs your visions, your contacts or your money for their success. A business leech doesn't mastermind for a win-win, they merely pick your brain. There is really little reciprocal benefit happening.

Haters: After all, 'haters are gonna hate hate hate'. A hater prefers you have no success at all. To them, it's easier to drag you down instead of pulling themselves up. A business hater talks smack about you and, if you do succeed they will argue it's wasn't due to your ability; it's was pure luck, or who you bribed or the dead body you secretly buried in your backyard. Business haters are very condescending.

Take a close look at the neighbourhood you have created for your business and your personal life. If your home remains significantly worth more than others homes on this street, remember this, YOU ARE NOT A HOUSE. YOU OWN LEGS! YOU CAN MOVE!

And as for your own property, don't be a negligent home owner. Enjoy keeping your house in a constant state of upgrading. If your existing neighbourhood don't like the changes, then that may be telling you something. Minimize your dealings with Victims, Leeches and Haters. Instead, surround yourself with people who share the same drive, visions and goals as you. Together, you can build a neighbourhood of equality, reciprocity and success where you feel inspired instead of feeling depleted.

Karen Baring

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